freakin fleeps. one month, no, less than one month left.
my back, my knee, my shoulder, my foot, my head, my wrist, my ankle, please hold on till then.

practice practice practice, everyday? maybe not, almost.
ill make sure next time ill land on these feet. watch it, feet. im gonna land on you.

cmon you can doooit.

ill make sure the failure videos are for laughing purposes only after d day. not as a constant fail reminder.

cmon, WEEEE can dooooit.
the first in line, we set the standard for everyone, yoohoo (:

swing, jump, TUCK!, rotate, untuck, land on your FEET. not your head. or back for the matter. ouch.

this sem is one crazy semester. although its the usual 23 AUs im taking, but im taking like, 3 LABS. so, no matter how you look at it, the timetable is never beautiful. no matter how you twist and turn, hide and cover, the truth is still so ugly.

this is the best i can do to salvage my school days.



this is probably one of the worst timetable that i've had. maybe when im in my final year ill compile all my past timetable before and compare which is the best and the worst semester :D JUST FOR FUN. yeah, thats the stuff i do FOR FUN. my life is so boring right. haha.

argh, hall dance is, super tiring, not to mention, getting boring. :\

im back in my room and was thinking. what the hell that i usually do here? cos i spent quite alot of time just staring and my computer screen, sleeping, eating, watching movie and thats it. is that what i usually do everyday? what an unproductive cycle! CRAP, while im realizing it i better correct it before i become oblivious to it.

anyway, a busy busy weeks are coming ahead of me.

despite having only registered for 8AUs, (stupid me forgot the time for course registration), well that 8aus packed my timetable like it was 20AUs. =.= (kinda exaggerating..) but yes its true! and i MUST add more courses during add drop period, if not i can jolly well finish my course in 5 years :D. thinking about it, basically, my morning and afternoon are GONE, everyday. (sometimes night too, i've a day that ends at 9+pm)

and then DANCE.

Hall Dance competition is on 25th February,
yesterday was our 1st practice, so we're erm, kinda late, and to make up for it, practices are like.
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, FRIDAY, SUNDAY. err yeah. well alot of beginners so we really need to clean up and catch up!

JDC, is at.. well i don't really know. BUT i know the practice time,
FRIDAY, SATURDAY. (thats 2 on friday i've gotta skip one..))

left with
THURSDAY = MJ class. (Pat. erm. i guess this is the most skipable one. :P)
and
MONDAY = Xuehui's class. (if we still have the time n energy to travel to o school..)

haha, thats 7 days a week until recess week break. hope i can last till then.

reminds me of the good old days of impre practices till 4-5am. so nice to be first year students. im old im old.

i hope its gonna be FUN. and i confirm its gonna be tiring T.T



 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone :D
thats first and foremost (:

the holiday is almost over, and tomorrow i'm flying back to sg. again, its mixed feelings. on one side i'm missing my friends back in sg, missing the independence, the no nagging, the dance, the slack, and of course, the girl.

but on the other side, it seems so short, my holiday back at my home. time spent with my family, 2 weeks after half a year. and its always the last few days that you feel closer and feel that you have not spent much time with them.

today our big family went together and discussed one's family problem, in the end all of the families opened up and share their own small family problems. tears were out and secrets were spilled. words of encouragement and true feelings were said and in the end im sure everyone feels better. it ended with a prayer where every family contributes a prayer for the big family to stay together as one (:

we learnt things from each other, where we should give thanks for everything that happened to us, no matter how big our problems are, we always have family to fall back on, we always have food to eat and house to stay, we are already much better off than others. learnt that there will be exs, ex-girl/boyfriend, ex-husband/wife, ex-boss/coworker, but there will be no ex-father, ex-mother, or son. family is always number one.

learnt from the elders that marrying one, is the same as marrying their family. its not that easy to get along with the rest of the big family. also learnt that family is supposed to grow bigger, as children have their own children, not become smaller. learnt that communication is always the key for a successful family relationship. learnt that parents can be hurt by the things their children say although they didn't mean it that way.

personally, i've learnt that as a family, its always us, and never me. we've been brought up in this new generations where you have to be independent and stuff, and slowly losing the meaning of a collective family. i want to have a family where love and care for each other is abundant and never a selfish one.

also learnt that you can never change one's attitude/behaviour/way of thinking. but you can always change yours. don't be stubborn.

i feel much closer to the family after that. sharing happiness and burden are a way of family to stay together and make everything better. happened on the 2nd last day of my stay, at least i've two more days to spent with my family closer than before.

and tmr, sunday, is my last day here! i want to spend it well. (:

i hope you guys are fine and having a nice holiday! i hope you had a happy new year too!
remember you are always in my prayer (:

:D

omigod i still on my crazy time spree.

latest spree:
saturday: sleep at 6am, wake up at 6pm
saturday: started doing tutorial at 11pm, ended sunday:11am.

12 hours of tutorials o.o omg.

and now,
sunday: sleep at 11am? wake up? O.O

but now im hungry, i shall eat 1st.
and i hope this wont continue after exam finishes!

found this on facebook notes, find it meaningful, and sharing with all of you :


All writings belong to Jeanette Winterson.


Loving someone else destroys our ideas of who we are and what we want. Priorities change, friends change, houses change, we change. Part of the strangeness of being human is our need of boundaries, parameters, definitions, explanations, and our need for them to be overturned. For most people, only the positives of love and faith (and a child is both), or the negatives of disaster and disease, achieve this. Death comes too late. The final shattering affects others, but not ourselves.


Excerpts off Jeanette Winterson's Written on the Body:

...

You said 'I love you.' Why is it that the most unoriginal thing we can say to one another is still the thing we long to hear? 'I love you' is always a quotation. You did not say it first and neither did I, yet when you say it and when I say it we speak like savages who have found three words and worship them. I did worship them but now I am alone on a rock hewn out of my own body.

-

Love demands expression. It will not stay still, stay silent, be good, be modest, be seen and not head, no. It will break out in tongues of praise, the high note that smashes the glass and spills the liquid. It is no conservationist. It is a big game hunter and you are the game. A curse on this game. How can you stick at a game when the rules keep changing? I shall call myself Alice and play croquet with the flamingoes. In Wonderland everyone cheats and love is Wonderland isn't it? Love makes the world go round. Love is blind. All you need is love. Nobody ever died of a broken heart. You'll get over it. It'll be different when we're married. Think of the children. Time's a great healer. Still waiting for Mr Right? Miss Right? and maybe all the little Rights?

Its the cliches that cause the trouble. If what I feel is not precise then should I call it love? It is so terrifying, love, that all I can do is shove it under a dump bin of pink cuddly toys and send myself a greeting card saying 'Congratulations on your Engagement'. But I am not engaged I am deeply distracted. I am desperately looking the other way so that love won't see me. I want the diluted version, the sloppy language, the insignificant gestures. The saggy armchair of cliches. It's all right, millions of bottoms have sat here before me. The springs are well worn, the fabric smelly and familiar. I don't have to be frightened, look, my grandma and granddad did it, he in a stiff collar and clue tie, she in white muslin straining a little at the life beneath. They did it, my parents did it, now I will do it, won't I, arms outstretched, not to hold you, just to keep my balance, sleepwalking to that armchair. How happy we will be. How happy everyone will be. And they all lived happily ever after.

-

I don't like to think of myself as an insincere person but if I say I love you and I don't mean it then what else am I? Will I cherish you, adore you, make way for you, make myself better for you, look at you and always see you, tell you the truth? And if love is not those things then what things?

-

THINGS HAD CHANGED, what an arsehole comment, I had changed things. Things don't change, they're not like the seasons moving on a diurnal round. People change things. There are victims of change but not victims of things.

-

Destiny is a worrying concept. I don't want to be fated, I want to choose.

-

This is where the story starts, in this threadbare room. The walls are exploding. The windows have turned into telescopes. Moon and stars are magnified in this room. The sun hangs over the mantelpiece. I stretch out my hand and reach the corners of the world. The world is bundled up in this room. Beyond the door, where the river is, where the roads are, we shall be. We can take the world with us when we go and sling the sun under your arm. Hurry now, it's getting late. I don't know if this is a happy ending but here we are let loose in open fields.

xoxo

mug mug mug, everyday mug..
no choice no choice, 17 days left till some freedom.

2012 was great. such a great movie comes only once in 10 years (:



and after spending dunno how many $$$ this past few weeks (or months), finally got my first toys :D
2 in one catch (: (not the domo)

start small, later go bigger :P i can foresee that my $$$ going to go down this way. like gambling. haha.

well, indeed was a happy 2 :D

and now, gonna start studying for exam in 2 days time ):

Well, HAPPY 2 if you're happy (:

SHIT. DAMN.

what do you call it when you go to sleep when you feel like it, you wake up when you feel like it, and theres no morning, afternoon, night, or dawn, its all just the same.

what do you do if you cant differentiate night or day. not your mind, but your body. what if your body acts like theres no sense of time, just anytime when it feels right.

SHIT.

EE3002 quiz on wednesday and i realized if i wanna watch the lecture recording, i must start from lecture 1 cos i simply missed lecture 1,2,3,4, etc..

oh i know what to do, stop whining and get my ass up and study.

for years i've been disliking/hating/bitching/hating/despising/avoiding/cursing/condemning those spoilt ones.
even yesterday, today, right this second; pitying and at the same time being angry at them, and those who make them what they are.

im talking about spoilt girls.

never once i stop and think
that i might be one too.

im talking about spoilt boy.

shit.

 im a super easily bored person. and heres some of the list.

1. nothing to look forward to.
2. no deadlines to meet, no test nor quiz nor homework in the near future. (more accurately, dont wanna think about it)
3. no games to indulge on, no bosses to kill, no stages to clear.
4. no tv series to watch, watched everything.
5. no movie to look forward to. the upcoming movies simply suck.
6. no outings plan with old friends to look forward to.
7. no badminton, no soccer, nor tennis games to go to.
8. no classes to attend to.
9. no excitement, no thrill, nor adventure to seek.
10. everything's so boring, boring, mundane, chores, boring.
11. missed the usual supperhops and lazy practices with the supperheroes.
12. missed the late night practices and macs and the kanchiong deadline with D2E.
13. missed the time spent chatting and just sitting around with close friends, l4d-ing everyday.
14. missed the drinking sessions with hallmates.
15. missed the random dates with old friends. (great way of spending time during weekends. and weekend nights.)
16. missed my JC cca activities, outings, camps.
17. missed having practice almost everyday. 


i miss the excitements.
...and the list shall go on when i think of more

 just woke up from a 15 hrs sleep.
maybe awhile more you can pronounce me dead.

so pissed off, wasted the whole day.
worst, missed esther's class.

right now i dont know what to do.
dont feel like doing anything.

like theres no purpose.

right now, i dont look forward to anything. anything at all.

feeling calm, yet pissed, and ready to explode. :x

what should i do now. what used to make me tick. what do i usually do on a saturday night. how come i cant remember.

hmm, 15 hours of sleep, and many hours of dreaming, made me wanna just stay in the dreamland.
feels weird waking up and realizing that nothing of those past 15 hrs is true.
looking at the mirror and find my hair un-cut.
didn't just go from a vacation,
etc, etc

ah dreams. i wanna keep dreaming.

and hey, i remember something.
i used to watch movies on saturday nights. i shall do so.

what a life.

this is wrong, that is wrong, i cant seem to get anything correct.

someone, teach me how.

gimme an empty place and an earphone.
to vent all these.

going back to mugging. 2 quizzes coming this week, and then 4 more to go. yeah.. great.

recess week ended, yet i've done nothing productive.

i thot i can use this recess week wisely to catch up on my lagging subjects, fail.
i thot i can use this recess week to have fun fun and fun, well, half succeed.

why can't i organize my time and priorities well. fail. fail.

and now i'm spending most of my time sleeping.
wasting time here and there, guess it's time to change.

to the mugger mode.
maybe soon.

disappointed with myself.

hey everyone,
sit down, calm down, and think.
a well thought choice is always better than a rash decision.

remember we all have different viewpoints,
all of us look at things differently, no matter how similar we are.

something we can see, others may not see.
or, another may even see beyond it.

as human beings, we are imperfect.
the thought of you knowing everything is destructive.
as human beings, we are social.
other's thoughts, other's feelings are the things that made us who we are.

being firm in your stand sometimes proves useful.
but being hard-headed is not, most of the time.

try to understand why others act, why others think that way.
try to understand what others feel, whats their needs and wants.
try to see what they see, not what you see.
try to think what they think.

sometimes, they know it better.
sometimes, you do.
you gotta find out.

sit down, and talk. and find it out.
or go out, and experience it! then find out.

remember:
put yourself in their shoes.




now,

what would you do if someone you care so deeply is about to walk down a path,
a path that you've walk down before.
that you know nothing good comes out from it.

what would you do.


now,

what would you do if someone gives you an advice,
not to walk down a particular road.


will you.
for the second question.

still walk down that road.
or will you, follow their advice.






now,
theres no right or wrong answer.

a wrong path for one, may be a right one for another.
even though its a wrong one, at least you will learn from your mistake.
and never do it again.
the earlier you fall, the better.
cos the more time you will have to turn back.


back to the 1st question.

what will you do?

stop them from going there? i suppose.
but what if you are them.

now think,

will you scold them, will you do everything you can to prevent them from walking that path, forever?
or will you, let them fall, and let them learn.


the choice is up to you.








last but not least, i need to apologize to ly.

because of my decision, i had burdened you. i'm really sorry.

i'm sorry for not thinking of your feelings when i let W out there by herself.

when i think that letting her go by herself is the right thing to do,
i'm blinded by the thought that i didn't consider what you'll think.

i'm sorry ly!




i'm trying to understand.
i'm trying to figure it out.

but theres so many things to figure.

slowly. slowly.

 can't study with this heavy mind. sigh.

7:45 now and its 15 mins more before im waking W up.

and i still haven't sleep yet. i'm really not sleepy. but i know i need to sleep.
but seriously, i LOVE today. it was superb fun (:

slept till 130pm (finally a good night rest on weekends)

and then went for KEONE MADRID's class with the MJ seniors!
omg.
yoga couldn't make it so rather than waste the $26 he told me to come to replace him
and his class was.
omg.
i feel like i'm in the wrong room.
i feel like i'm in the wrong place at the wrong time.

but he's such an inspiration.
i wanna learn, i wanna improve.
i must.
must thank yoga for exposing me to this.

(i totally catch no balls from his choreo. its damn fast, sharp, full of energy and cool! blame me for going with the seniors)


that, was the choreography we learnt.
that wasn't the way i did it.
i gone after the 1st eight. haha.. XD

went for tuition late, but still went.

then went to mt. faber safra at night to do a mj+d2e performance! church item + d2e item.
expected from SAFRA, yeah, the party kinda suck.
but lucky me, with friends around!
apple, esther, xiaojun, jane, and roomie on the floor. making it fun fun (:

then i played a 60 points bowling game. kinda tipsy, and high, and suck at bowling.

went back with all of them and yoga and wh to ahlian to eat.
htht-ed till 6am. when the 1st train come.
walked back to hall.

how do you spell those?
FUN. :D